Saturday, October 22, 2005
Now that we understand what anxiety is, we can start the process of battling it.
You may wish to avoid many things that put you in the center of attention, where your performance is evaluated and your comfort is at risk. You may have had an unpleasant speaking experience in the past and think that history will repeat itself.
All people feel discomfort when they do what they have not done before or must redo what had not turned out well before.
Here are some simple comparisons that will help you on the path to an anxiety free speech.
What you have allowed yourself to think vs. Your new way to talk to yourself.
A) This is too uncomfortable.
B) I can tolerate feeling uncomfortable. It will not last forever.
A) The bad things will happen again.
B) I learned from that mistake and have imagined myself doing as I wish I'd done instead of reliving the unpleasant experience.
A) It is too much effort and work. I can't do it. I'm overwhelmed.
B) I will get through it and learn how to make it even easier next time.
A) I don't know how to do it.
B) I will ask someone to help and coach me.
A) I'm frustrated.
B) I'd prefer not to be frustrated, but I will try again and again until I get it.
A) I'm fine speaking to four people, but more is too difficult.
B) I will speak to four people at a time as I look around a large group.
You may wish to avoid many things that put you in the center of attention, where your performance is evaluated and your comfort is at risk. You may have had an unpleasant speaking experience in the past and think that history will repeat itself.
All people feel discomfort when they do what they have not done before or must redo what had not turned out well before.
Here are some simple comparisons that will help you on the path to an anxiety free speech.
What you have allowed yourself to think vs. Your new way to talk to yourself.
A) This is too uncomfortable.
B) I can tolerate feeling uncomfortable. It will not last forever.
A) The bad things will happen again.
B) I learned from that mistake and have imagined myself doing as I wish I'd done instead of reliving the unpleasant experience.
A) It is too much effort and work. I can't do it. I'm overwhelmed.
B) I will get through it and learn how to make it even easier next time.
A) I don't know how to do it.
B) I will ask someone to help and coach me.
A) I'm frustrated.
B) I'd prefer not to be frustrated, but I will try again and again until I get it.
A) I'm fine speaking to four people, but more is too difficult.
B) I will speak to four people at a time as I look around a large group.
Monday, October 17, 2005
The next question we have to answer is: What causes anxiety?
It is not the event that causes the anxiety. It is caused by your mind playing out the event.
Anxious thoughts arise out of the belief that you are in some type of danger and that your life is at risk. Obviously, your earliest ancestors sensed the actual danger of animals and attackers so their bodies reacted to fight or escape that danger. Is your sense of fear and worry over a speech equal to the need to escape an animal?
A phobia is the belief that something is very dangerous when it is only a bit frightening. The anxiety is out of proportion with the upcoming event. For example, if you are concerned that in a meeting you will make a mistake and then fix it, your minor fears are acceptable because it is normal to feel uncomfortable. Anxiety comes when the fear is irrational or excessive.
It is not the event that causes the anxiety. It is caused by your mind playing out the event.
Anxious thoughts arise out of the belief that you are in some type of danger and that your life is at risk. Obviously, your earliest ancestors sensed the actual danger of animals and attackers so their bodies reacted to fight or escape that danger. Is your sense of fear and worry over a speech equal to the need to escape an animal?
A phobia is the belief that something is very dangerous when it is only a bit frightening. The anxiety is out of proportion with the upcoming event. For example, if you are concerned that in a meeting you will make a mistake and then fix it, your minor fears are acceptable because it is normal to feel uncomfortable. Anxiety comes when the fear is irrational or excessive.
