Saturday, May 27, 2006
Isn’t it Easier to just Avoid Speaking?
The more you avoid what is scary, the scarier you allow it to become. Start small and speak up more frequently at a regular meeting. Make it a goal to speak early and only once in an important meeting. Practice makes it easier. Like other frightening things you’ve done, it will become familiar.
Expect to always have normal jitters and normal fears before speaking. These don’t go away. Enjoy the freedom of not allowing your fears to become the boundaries of your life.
If you keep saying to yourself and others,
“I don’t speak well. I’m really bad. I hate to do it”
you will keep yourself fearful.
Just because you haven’t felt you were successful in the past, or can remember difficult situations, you still can be successful in the future. To Avoid speaking will increase your stress.
Every time you speak in public it will be a little less demanding! So keep practicing.
The more you avoid what is scary, the scarier you allow it to become. Start small and speak up more frequently at a regular meeting. Make it a goal to speak early and only once in an important meeting. Practice makes it easier. Like other frightening things you’ve done, it will become familiar.
Expect to always have normal jitters and normal fears before speaking. These don’t go away. Enjoy the freedom of not allowing your fears to become the boundaries of your life.
If you keep saying to yourself and others,
“I don’t speak well. I’m really bad. I hate to do it”
you will keep yourself fearful.
Just because you haven’t felt you were successful in the past, or can remember difficult situations, you still can be successful in the future. To Avoid speaking will increase your stress.
Every time you speak in public it will be a little less demanding! So keep practicing.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Handling Prejudice:
“Because I have an accent, some people treat me as if I’m stupid!”
If someone acts as if you don’t know what you are saying because you have an accent, you can say, “Yes, I have an accent, but I also know what I am talking about.”
Talk to these people about casual topics so they can get used to how you sound and can learn to respect you. Be patient with the ignorant.
“Because I have an accent, some people treat me as if I’m stupid!”
If someone acts as if you don’t know what you are saying because you have an accent, you can say, “Yes, I have an accent, but I also know what I am talking about.”
Talk to these people about casual topics so they can get used to how you sound and can learn to respect you. Be patient with the ignorant.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
When you speak in another country, or if you now live in the US and were born in another country. What should you do with feedback from listeners?
If people have asked you to slow down, they have told you,
“You are talking but we are not receiving what you are saying.”
Is that acceptable to you? That you talk and people only receive part of what you are saying? No! Then s l o w d o w n, p l e a s e.
But what should you do when you do when you do not understand them?!? Ask, ask, ask for clarification without embarrassment. This shows that you genuinely want to receive the information. Repeat what you did understand (paraphrase). Then, they can agree or explain in another way.
You can say,
“Pardon, I didn’t catch that last part”
and tell them what you did get.
When you hear a new word or jargon, make it a game to use it three times in the next 24 hours to remember it and feel comfortable using it. When friends and your kids suggest a pronunciation improvement, play the same game with yourself.
Also, choose one word a day to say with an American accent.
Next, be more satisfied with your speaking performance by using notes, rehearsing, anticipating questions and having a friend coach you.
If people have asked you to slow down, they have told you,
“You are talking but we are not receiving what you are saying.”
Is that acceptable to you? That you talk and people only receive part of what you are saying? No! Then s l o w d o w n, p l e a s e.
But what should you do when you do when you do not understand them?!? Ask, ask, ask for clarification without embarrassment. This shows that you genuinely want to receive the information. Repeat what you did understand (paraphrase). Then, they can agree or explain in another way.
You can say,
“Pardon, I didn’t catch that last part”
and tell them what you did get.
When you hear a new word or jargon, make it a game to use it three times in the next 24 hours to remember it and feel comfortable using it. When friends and your kids suggest a pronunciation improvement, play the same game with yourself.
Also, choose one word a day to say with an American accent.
Next, be more satisfied with your speaking performance by using notes, rehearsing, anticipating questions and having a friend coach you.
