Thursday, December 01, 2005

 
Ego Anxiety

“There is too much to risk. If this speech is a disaster, I am a much less person. I am less than others if I don’t do as well as I would like.”

Challenge such irrational and unfair thoughts!

“My worth and value will be diminished and endangered.” “How much risk is actually involved? Are any of these situations deadly? Can others damage my own feelings about my own worth?”

“My value will be reduced. I don’t want to take the risk.” “I must agree with them to really make me feel that I have no value and I refuse to agree with them.”

“I make mistakes.” “Does this prove that I am a worthless person? Don’t I have worth even if I make mistakes some times?

“If I do something bad, my life is ruined.” “I’m proving that I’m imperfect, just like other humans.”

A good speech does not make you a good person. A bad speech does not make you a bad person. You are a person who occasionally gives good and bad speeches. “I accept myself as a fallible human. Sometimes I like the results and sometimes I don’t. I don’t like when I fail, but I accept myself and work on changing and improving. I’m interested in progress, not perfection.”

You make yourself anxious by letting crazy thoughts go unchallenged. No person or event can make you uncomfortable unless you, in your own mind, accept the judgment.

What is the risk? What is the significance of doing poorly?

“No one will respect or admire me.” “Do I really believe that others will not accept that I made a mistake and fixed it?”

How else do you make yourself crazy?

Your mind asks you reasonable and valuable questions like, “What if…”

“What if I don’t remember my next line?”
“What if I can’t remember the right word in English?”
“What if I don’t have anything profound to say?”
“What if I say something stupid?”
“What if I’m not received well?”
“What if I stutter and stammer?”

Your anxiety does not come from these questions. It is wise to anticipate problems and decide an appropriate way to behave if these things happen.

Your anxiety comes from the illogical and absurd answers you tell yourself!

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